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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Looking for Yad HaShem

Events happen. Life happens. Seemingly at random, but HaShem is the One who is guiding it all, even as it unfolds. It is only when we look back upon the events that occurred can we begin, maybe – if we are lucky – to see how that which has happened was no mere accident. How that which was seemingly bad was for our benefit. How it is truly Yad HaShem that was involved in the events that “happened.

On December 31, 2008, my wife gave birth to triplets. Having been on bed rest, both at home and in the hospital, my employer had been very gracious up until that point allowing me to come in late and leave early to be home for my older children. But, in February of 2009, I was let go ostensibly b/c of the low amount of work volume coming in – a result of them then current economic conditions in the nation. How was I to pay bills? How was I to maintain health insurance, especially important with children who required medical intervention, surgeries, hospital stays, and critical care. As a part of the government stimulus plan, the federal gov’t agreed to pay 65% of the costs of COBRA health insurance coverage for those people who were terminated from employment for a 9 month period. I qualified.”

Over the next few months, as I began looking for work, I was also available to help my wife and children at a moment in time when I was needed around the house more than ever. Fortunately, I was able to find “temporary” work, at a location extremely close to my house. Paid by the hour, there were no guarantees, but there was at least some income. And would a regular, steady, “full-time” position have allowed me the flexibility needed to leave as-needed to go home or the hospital for a full year? I hardly think so.

While the project for which I was initially hired to do has long since been over, I am still there, at the “temporary” place of employment, working on other projects. However, with the federal gov’t COBRA period of 9 months ending, how am I going to afford health insurance, a much needed item? In December 2009 the gov’t extended the 65% plan for another 6 months.

I don’t know what the future will hold, but in looking back I can clearly see Yad HaShem in everything that has occurred and that where I am is where I am supposed to be.

Tatty, I'm Here

"My 5 year old son still comes into my bed almost every night. A lot of the time I'm so deeply asleep I don't even feel it. But, sometimes, like last night, I was slightly awake when he came in and whispered 'Tatty, I'm here.'

He has said that before when he comes in, and I don't know why. Is it to let me know to move over, to make room for him? Is it because he wakes up and imagines that I am lonely at 3:30 in the morning, and he's letting me know that it's ok - that he's there?

And, isn't that what we want to tell HaShem, our Tatty? Tatty, we are here. You're not alone in this golus, in this night.....and if You'll only move over and let us in next to You, we will come in?

Tatty, we're here."

Monday, December 21, 2009

Hindsight is 20/20

In February of this year (2009), I was laid off. Boruch HaShem, I was able to locate a temporary position extremely close to my house. Supposed to only last 1-2 months, the time keeps extending. Only now, looking back over that time, can I see what a blessing it was.

Over the past year, we were zoche to bring our babies home from the hospital and the going has not only been easy. My son has been in and out (mostly out) of the hospital with in-patient treatments, surgeries, and extended stays in rehab centers. Although leaving work also means losing out on money - as a temp employee I get paid by the hour so no work = no pay - it also means I have the flexability to take off as I see fit as long as I also get the job done. A "real" position would have meant that I cannot go over my alloted vacation/holiday/sick days.

Although health insurance is still a big question, overall, I have enjoyed the time I've speant at the place of employment where I've been. I guess it is true....hindsight is 20/20 and, more importantly, HaShem knows what He is doing when He causes events to occur.